He opened his eyes.Oh, shit!"Hello," cheerfully said Guinevere. "I see you are still not dead though you are trying very hard."Jacob was dismayed as e...erything came back to him. He was still here! He hadn't smoked anything for months, so this had to be real. He was in a strange land in a strange time and worst of all the waves were twelve days away. He might as well be dead.He sat up abruptly and looked around."Where am I?" he stammered. The room was made of stone and was amazing. Colorful. Her head snapped around to look me in the eyes and she said, "You?"I just nodded while more tears started.Her arms came around me and she whispered into my ear, "Don't cry Tommy. Please don't cry. It's ok. It'll be ok." She really didn't know how to respond to my emotions.She pulled her head from the side and looked me in the eyes. I looked back with obvious pain in mine, "Dee I didn't want you to know about that kind of stuff for a few more years. You've only seen this side of me. You've never. “Is that me?”“Heavens no!” She replied with a giggle. “Jack is ... Uh, oh!” Then she looked him in the eye and said, “I don’t know if I can tell you about Jack or not...”“Wait a stinking minute!” he exclaimed. “I just remembered something. I heard all about it from a SubLant buddy of mine. There’s a huge Cray computer at the Naval Base in Norfolk. It’s used to track every ship in the entire North Atlantic, but particularly to track the location of every sub. A few weeks ago, it started to freak. ’ ****** P O O F!******** The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.‘Okay kid, you got just vone more vish.Best you should make it a good vone!’ After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, ‘I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!’ ****** P O O F!******** He was turned into a tampon.THE MORAL OF THE STORY: If you’re an Arab doing business with a Jew, there’s bound to be a string attached.This one.
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..Sir?" I raised an eyebrow."Yes, if you please."I happily obliged, and handed the shirt back to him."And," he continued, "call me Darren." No, thanks
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